How to Deal with the Fear of Being Left Alone

Happy weekend friends. And welcome back. It’s election season in Nigeria, and I hope this election will bring positive change to our country. And I pray there won’t be violence or shedding of innocent blood. God bless Nigeria!

Today, I want to share something about how to deal with the fear of being left alone. This is a feeling that happens to practically everyone of us. And I’ve been there. I can tell you it’s not a fun experience. It’s a moment when you feel nobody around - not even the people closest to you, and you feel like you have no one. Not that you don’t really have people to talk to. But the fact that you have no one who is really so close to your heart that you can talk with and share your feelings makes you feel left alone. 

Maybe you have some expectations from some people. Or maybe you think someone should do certain things for you because of what you are going through at the moment, but they are not available. They are not there for you. And you wonder if they are really for you or against you. At that moment, you feel being left alone. 

This is a moment when you also feel people don’t want you or they don’t appreciate you. It is a moment when you feel low in life. The feeling of being left alone is a difficult feeling, a very challenging one at that, that if you are not careful, it could make you slip into depression or think of doing something negative to yourself. 

I’ve seen people who because they felt being left alone decided to detach themselves from everyone and felt tired of life.

As this feeling could be so hard to deal with, it often comes when we don’t expect. And the better we are prepared for it, the better we go through it and come out of it.

People will not live with us forever. Whether it’s our children, our spouse, our friends, our relatives, our colleagues, and so on. They have their own lives to live. And we can’t force anyone to be with us. And as life happens, even our closest friend or spouse can go through transformation. They can move to another place, or even pass on to glory when they are old, as we pray. This is not to be cynical or skeptical about life, it is to be prepared and be satisfied living our lives. And it is to also maximize and enjoy the moments we have with our loved ones, even as we are together and doing things.

Dealing with the fear of being left alone start first of all with the mindset of accepting the fact that it is normal, and people will go through their own lives and do what’s good for them. So, we don’t really need to take anything personal. 

Second, is the fact that we are not alone. Even though people may not be with us physically, one way or the other, they are still with us. Their heart is still with us. Especially people who we have impacted their lives. They will live to remember us. They will be happy thinking about us. So, even as we go through that feeling of being left alone, we are not alone and there are still people who have us in mind.

Third, is to focus on our purpose. Knowing fully well that when you are busy with your purpose, you have no time thinking you are left alone. Because your purpose keeps you so busy and engaged that you feel you always have people around you or with you, even though they are not always physically there with you. Your purpose will keep you connected with people. And there is no way you will be fulfilling your purpose and feel like you are alone.

Fourth, is to connect with God. Know your creator. Believe Him, and believe His words. He said He will not leave you nor forsake you. That is His words. He will not go back on His words. He will surely fulfill it in your life. So, believe that you are not alone, and you can’t be left alone. Even when people are not with you, the Lord is with you and He’s ever with you. So, do not let your heart be troubled.

I love that song – "What a friend we have in Jesus." Look at the lyrics

"What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He'll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear
May we ever, Lord, be bringing all to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright unclouded there will be no need for prayer
Rapture, praise and endless worship will be our sweet portion there."

These are great and profound words. So inspiring and encouraging.

When you go through the fire and waters, the LORD said He will be there with you. When you go through the shadow of death, He will make you fear no evil because He is there with you, and He will guide you in the way you should go. That is the Lord, your creator who has made all things beautiful in your life.

If at this moment, you are feeling being left alone, I encourage you, dear friends, to believe His words. Let His words be in your heart and hold on to the confession of your faith. The Lord will continue to make a way for you and make His eyes shine upon you. God bless you and have a great weekend.

To read the previous article, please click on this link: What to Do When You Are Confused