5 Vital Lessons I Learned In My Marriage (Part 3)

Hi loves, hope you are doing well? And trust your week has been great. Today, I’ll conclude on the 5 vital lessons I learned in my marriage.

Let me quickly mention that the things I discussed are applicable to both men and women. I’m not trying to be gender-biased or focus only on women. I believe marriage is for both men and women, and so they should both enjoy it and make it work. 

Meanwhile, it is not by subjecting one person to responsibilities or making the other person feel entitled that will make marriage work. Rather, it’s about sharing love and growing together (which would allow each partner to go to any length to sacrifice for their spouse and make them happy). 

Love doesn’t look for who is right or wrong. It is looking for who is willing —willing to give. Because love is about giving. And this takes me to my next point which is forgiveness.

Forgiveness is an important quality in marriage. And no marriage can survive without it. It is important because there is no how things would not happen. There would be little disagreements and misunderstandings here and there. And sometimes it can be messy. 

We may feel upset with our partner and wouldn’t want to talk to them or even see their face. But when there is love, we would be able to forgive and overlook their shortcomings. Now, this does not in any way give allowance for our partner to keep wronging us, but to give them opportunity to do well next time and be a better person. 

We know we are not all perfect. We are all work in progress. And so, we should be able to accommodate our spouse and allow them to evolve and grow, just as we do. 

And just to mention, when there’s love, one partner would not be willing to take advantage of the other person or feel entitled for what their partner is doing for them. Like I said, everyone of us has a role to play in our marriage. And when we do that, we increase love and peace in our marriage. 

I remember many times I’d had to forgive my husband for doing certain things. And I also remember times when he’d to forgive me for wronging him too. So forgiveness is an unending virtue in marriage. We would always need it. 

We should allow ourselves to be better persons in our marriage. There’s nobody that can make our marriage work except the two of us. So, we should put in the efforts.

My last but not the least lesson I want to share about my marriage is being able to comprise. 

Trust me, in marriage, there will be a lot of things you’ll have to comprise. From little things to bigger things. There will surely be something that you are used to doing that you will no longer be able to do when you are married.

For example, before I married, I was someone who was used to a particular pattern of food, and times when I eat. But when I married, I had to adjust. Also, in the area of using the bathroom and toilet, and how things are arranged in the house, and many other 'small issues'. For me, they are not small. They are very important. But I had to adapt.

I didn’t want to be complaining about every little thing, so I allowed my husband to have his space. There were things he had to compromise too. And this is not in anyway negative or bringing anyone discomfort. But it is a good way to learn new lifestyle and adapt to new situations. 

Also, when I started giving births and training my children, I also had to adapt to a lot of things. Same thing for my husband. In fact, we had to unlearn and relearn many things, especially when we moved to the United States. Things that we were used to back home were no longer norm here. 

So we had to adjust on a lot of things. And I’m sure this is applicable to most if not all family. There can’t be growth or development in marriage if we are not willing to compromise or let go of the lifestyle that we were used to before we married or even in the early days of our marriage. 

Marriage is about two different people coming together to make their union work. It is not for one party to have the mind of changing the other person, but to have the mind of growing together in love. We will have to comprise certain things no matter what. 

I have not seen a marriage where nobody has nothing to comprise. It will always be needed. 

In conclusion, there are other amazing things that make marriage work, like honesty, transparency, open-mindedness, humility, understanding each other's love langauge and so on. They are great qualities to have in marriage. 

I hope the 5 lessons I shared have been helpful. Next week, I will continue on another topic. I wish you more joy and happiness in your marriage, and may you continue to grow and increase in love. Have a beautiful weekend. 

Much love!❤️

You can read the previous article here: 

https://abiolagold.blogspot.com/2022/05/loving-what-your-spouse-loves.html