How to Forgive (When It’s Difficult to) Part 2

I promised I would continue this topic this week. Here is the link to Part 1  https://abiolagold.blogspot.com/2022/01/how-to-forgive-when-its-difficult-to.html . 

Just early this week, something happened on my way to work. I was driving gently on the five-lane highway. I was on a slow lane and several cars were passing me by, on speed. As I was driving, I noticed the police behind me. And after a few minutes of following me, my car was flashed and I waited, packed by the roadside. 

Then the police officer came to me, " Ma'am, why are you crossing lanes and not stable on one lane? " I said - " No, I'm not crossing lane. I only stick to my own lane and I'm even driving gently on my lane, and I'm not sleeping or dosing, so I can't be driving anyhow. " " But I noticed you were listening to something in your car. "He replied. I said - " Yes! I listen to messages when I'm going to work and that doesn't affect me in anyway. Is that a problem?" "No!" He replied. " But can I have your car documents?" He added. 

So I brought out the documents and gave to him. He went for a couple of minutes and came back with the documents and ticket. "Ticket, for what?" He said for careless driving. “ Me, careless driving? ”You and I know that what you are saying is not true and I don’t know what is on your mind. I've never done anything wrong to deserve you stopping me, let alone giving me a ticket. What proof do you have to justify what you are saying? I'm not speeding or crossing lanes, why would you give me a ticket for careless driving? 

He said if I don't agree, I should go to court to dispute it. Then, as I was about to say the next word, he absconded and left me in vexation. I was pissed! “ What nonsense is this? ”  I felt like someone has robbed me on the face. I was so hurt and angry. 

As I was going to work, I was thinking of how I could make this policeman realize the wrong he has done. I felt doing such kind of thing is intentional, and it's like he just wanted to take advantage of me because I can't fight back or something. 

Forgiving that kind of person, after leaving the scene was very difficult. I was still trying to rack my head around what just happened. I couldn't figure anything reasonable out, except more annoyance and resentment. I thought, what would I have to do after the guy has gone, leaving me in a bad mood. I decided to forgive him and move on. 

I thought he most likely have an ulterior motive that is best known to him. I didn't let that distract or annoy me anymore. I just made up my mind to focus on what I can control and ignore what I cannot. I know I can't force him to change his wrong action, but I can control my attitude towards his action. And that was what gave me peace after the incident. I was initially pissed and angry, but later calmed down and became settled in my spirit.

This is one of the common situations we encounter from time to time. Annoying incidents like this never cease from coming. Probably you may be going through the pains of being offended, and you've been trying so hard to forgive the person. But it has not been easy. I understand. Sometimes, it is really so hard to tell someone who has offended you that you love them. It's really hard!

But Jesus said we should love our enemies and forgive those who offend us. I'm sure he knew what he was talking about, because he also experienced it himself. So, telling us to forgive would be that there is something important about it. And that is to be FREE from the BURDEN OF UNFORGIVENESS. 

From the experience I shared last week, and coupled with other experiences that I’ve had, here are the key lessons that I’ve learned.

1. Offenses don't stop coming but we can decide to let them stay in our heart or go.

2. People who offend us oftentimes don't know how much pains or hurt we go through to keep their burdens in our heart. So, it's better to let it go since they are not the one feeling the hurt but we. 

3. Getting angry is normal when someone offends us. But staying in that anger for a long time (because we don't want to forgive) is what causes us ill health or lack of peace of mind.

4. The more we understand human nature, the more we rationalize human behavior and forgive them when they offend us.

5. I put myself in other people's shoes and think they may be right in their own way. So, I shouldn't only judge people from my end, but also see from their own eyes as well.

6. Forgiveness is healing. When you are still holding grudges against someone, you don't want to see them or talk to them. But the moment you forgive, there's this happy feeling that you have that comes from your soul towards them. This is healing.

7. Knowing how much God has forgiven us makes us know how to forgive people.

There are still more to share. I guess we would continue sometimes in the future. From all of these, I hope we can learn more forgiveness, even when it's difficult to. I realized that when we forgive, it is not that we support what the person did or want them to continue, (as a matter of fact, we should meet with them and talk about it if it is necessary), but to allow us to move forward and focus on more important things about our lives and purpose rather than focusing on negative things that could bring us hostility and resentments.

God has put us on this earth to spread His love and show forth His goodness. So, we should do that and continue to live a happy and fulfilled life. Thanks for reading and God bless you.

Have you had any of these experiences? Please share your thoughts and comments below.

Have a beautiful weekend.